He had me at "I've Got a Horse"

Who knew Steve's pick up line, "I've got a horse..." would be the catalyst leading to a relationship that has lasted nearly 37 years?  It was early October in 1980 when Steve used that line on me at a wedding dance in Snyder.  I sat across from him at a table full of alumni from a college in Curtis, NE.  We were all sharing our stories about instructors, dorms and night life.  During the conversation Steve learned I had a love for horses.  He must have thought it was his chance to make a move when he commented, "I have a horse that can turn on a dime!"

Throughout the course of the evening, whenever Steve had the chance he would go back to telling me about his horse named Duffy and his family's farm north of Snyder.  I admit I enjoyed looking into Steve's blue eyes as he talked and before I knew it the dance was over.  I couldn't remember Steve's name so when he stood up I looked at the back of his belt and saw "STEVE" imprinted on it.  I had a first name and, yes, I was looking at his belt.

The following morning I drove to Omaha to visit my aunt.  Aunt Kathy was my mom's only sister and a favorite aunt of mine from childhood.  Aunt Kathy was known to bring my siblings and I gifts for birthdays and Christmas's and she was a fun adult to be around.  I sat down on a stool at her counter and told her all about a guy named Steve I had met the night before.  She was the first person to hear about this guy with a great horse.

This is one of my favorite pictures of my family with my Aunt Kathy in it. 

On Monday morning, two days after I met Steve, I was unlocking the vet clinic door where I worked.  As I jiggled the key in the lock I heard the phone ringing and I rushed to get inside to answer what I thought was a large animal call for our veterinarian.  It was Steve.  He wanted to know if I would like to ride his horse sometime.   I laughed and said yes. We made plans for me to drive to the farm that Saturday.

I guess Steve couldn't wait for Saturday to arrive.  He stopped in at the vet clinic on Thursday afternoon to see me.  I needed to meet our vet on a nearby farm to treat a horse so Steve offered to take me.  What a gentleman!

Saturday arrived and I headed out to Steve's farm.  When I arrived Steve met me at my car and we walked over to the horse pen.  We caught the horse, saddled him up and off I went.   I had plenty of space to ride.  As I rode through the nearby fields I noticed how well kept their farm was.  When I rode back up to the barn Steve was waiting and asked about riding along.  Before I could say anything he was up in the saddle sitting behind me.  We began our riding tour of the farm until the rest of his family had left for Saturday night mass.  I don't think he was ready to have me meet the family yet!

That first date kindled the spark that had been lit at the wedding dance.  We continued to date, talk about our common interests and then plan for a wedding.

As we searched for a place we could live Steve's uncle approached him and asked if we would consider living on the farm where Steve's grandfather had raised a family of thirteen children.  The uncle, Roman Ruskamp, had retired, moved to town and married late in life.  Steve took me to the farm located about eleven miles from his own family's farm.  It was a bit rustic after having two bachelors living in the house for twenty years.  Steve saw beyond the broken fences, weeds and run down house.  His enthusiasm was contagious and I supported the decision to not only live on the farm but also buy the 40 acres the house and barns were on.

This aerial photo was taken in 1991.  We had added some new
cattle pens and lived right in the middle of all the activity.  The
highway shows up as dirt because it was worked on that year.

This aerial photo was taken in 2007.  We built a house in 1996
to the west end of the feedlot when our old house was beyond
repair.  Another dream for Steve was to have a fish pond and
that is located to the right of the house.

 The excitement about having our own farm dimmed when we learned my Uncle Melvin, was diagnosed with cancer.  We made several visits to see him in the hospital in Omaha.  On one late night visit the conversation was about our wedding.  Steve wanted the wedding in Snyder since they had farm chores to work around.  Uncle Melvin was very persuasive in telling Steve the wedding should be in the bride's hometown.  On our way home Steve apologized to me for his lack of understanding and the wedding was moved from Snyder to Resurrection Catholic Church in Grand Island.

Uncle Melvin is the first one in the back row.  He is standing next to my
dad.  This is my dad's family with Grandpa and Grandma seated in the middle.

Another tragedy hit us when Steve's brother, Ed, died suddenly in a car accident.  Ed was Steve's partner with the feedlot they built up.  It was surreal for me to be sharing this grief with Steve and his family. I felt a little out of place since I wasn't really a part of the family yet.  As I lay in a sleeping bag the night before the funeral Steve's mom came over to me, touched my shoulder and said, "I'm so glad you are here."  I was family.

Steve's family.   Front row: Julie, Teri, Barb, Louise, Marguerite
Back row: Steve, Jerry, Francis, Bernardine, Ed, Joe, Rosie

We said goodbye to Ed in July.  We said goodbye to my Uncle Melvin in August. 

In early September we took Steve's horse and a 3 year-old filly I bought over the summer to the Labor Day Parade in Omaha.   We had joined the Dodge Saddle Club and one of the first events we attended was the parade.  I was a little apprehensive about taking a young horse to a parade but I had been reassured the older horses would keep my horse in line.  Our third traumatic experience before the wedding was about to unfold.

The horses were saddled and excited.  We were in downtown Omaha with lots of people and unfamiliar sounds all around us.  Our saddle club mounted up and started walking towards the parade route.  While we waited for the parade to start, a high school band decided to warm up.  I could feel my horse trembling inside as I kept a flag folded tight around the pole in my right hand.  Suddenly she reared up and I felt the both of us go over backwards as she fell on the right side of my hip.  In my mind all I could think about was getting my feet out of the stirrups and letting go of the flag.  As she stood up I looked at my right hand and saw one of my fingers bleeding and then I tried to stand up.  Pain immediately shot down my back, hip and legs.  Steve jumped down to my side with a look of fear on his face.  Someone called a rescue squad and soon we were whisked away to the hospital.

I did not ride my mare in anymore parades and I did not
sell her.  She did produce some nice foals like this one!

While Steve and I waited for the x-rays we talked about what we might be facing.  My hip could be broken.  I could feel pain so that was a good sign.  My leg could be broken.  We had a wedding in three weeks.  What would we do?  Was this a sign?  If it was a sign, what did it mean?

The doctor returned with good news.  Nothing was broken.  I was going to need crutches for awhile for the bruising that had occurred.  We could handle that.  If there was a sign, it was that someone special was watching out for us and we could go ahead with the wedding.  I was fitted for some crutches and sent home to heal and get ready for the wedding.

Cheers!  September 26, 1981

From, "I've got a horse," to saying, "I do," Steve has kept his commitment to love me and honor me all the days of my life.  We've shared 13,140 days together as husband and wife.  Those 13,140 days have been filled with more blessings than burdens.  I can only hope God blesses us with thousands more days together that start with Steve's daily greeting, "Goooooood Morning Joanie!"

The gift of faith has helped us weather the storms of married life. 
The Holy Spirit is truly the glue that keeps us together.  

 "All things work for good for those who love God, 

who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

Two became one leading to a family of seven and now a family of fifteen!

"Blessed is everyone who fears the LORD, who walks in his ways! You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands; you shall be blessed, and it shall be well with you. Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the LORD. "   Psalm 128:1-4

Camp Ruskamp

Our farm becomes "Camp Ruskamp" each summer when nieces and nephews come to visit.  This camp experience gives our extended family members a chance to learn about farm life and have camp style experiences.  We recently hosted our nieces and nephew Tabitha, Maria and Elijah. Our granddaughters, Ella and Harper, joined us for added fun on one of the afternoons.

Climbing hay bales-our hay is preserved in large, round bales rather than the
small, square bales our children climbed on when they were young.

Maria and Elijah surprised me when they told me they had never been beyond our house and fish pond.  We toured the feedlot via the Ranger to see how the cattle live.  A load of Synergy (modified wet distiller's grain) arrived as we drove around so we watched the product unload via a belt inside the trailer.  The tour continued to the barn where we assess cattle that might need treating and the kids met Tonja, the barn cat.   The kids learned how the cattle move through the low stress handling system as seen in this interview. We made plans to watch the movie "Temple Grandin" that evening with some of Steve's homemade popcorn.

Here are some of the other farm/camp activities the kids participated in:

Fishing-notice Elijah's fish in the bottom right corner.

Trampoline Jumping-our granddaughters made an afternoon visit.

Tractor rides-Maria rode along with Steve to box scrape pens.

Crop checks-Steve checks the corn as the kids enjoy
the stream running through the field.

Elijah loves to put puzzles together and found a dolphin
puzzle to work on with Steve.

 One of the reasons our nieces and nephew were with us was their parents were enjoying some time away for their 25th wedding anniversary.  The kids and I decided it would be fun to make a gift for their parents.  We decided to make a flag using wooden pallets.  My thought process led us to get four flags going using an assembly line process.   Tabitha stayed on task while the younger two fought over sweeping the shop.  This was a win/win project since Steve had his shop swept while we worked on the flags.  I hope their parents are pleased with this special gift!

The kids put on the final touches of paint and remove the tape!

Do you or your children have access to a farm to enjoy some of the experiences my extended family members have?  If not, I would encourage you to find a way to connect your kids to those of us growing your food.  If you have questions about how food is grown I would encourage you to talk to a farmer or rancher and using websites like CommonGround or FactsAboutBeef 

What is a farm/camp experience without animals to love on?  We aim to please and had three little kittens for these three kids to love on while they were there.  Yes, we will be looking for good homes for these kittens in the next month or so!

"The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature."  Anne Frank

For God and Family

As we near the end of  "May is Beef Month"  I would like to share with you another beef recipe from a woman who is a great cook and who places God and her family above all else.  This woman is my sister-in-law, Julie Heftie.  Julie is Steve's youngest sibling.  She is married to Kelly and has four amazing kids.  I would like to tell you more about Julie and share with you the beef recipe she has given me.

This is Julie with her family.  From left to right are Kelly, Tabitha, Julie
Simon, Maria and Elijah.  This photo was taken after Julie completed
a marathon race in Lincoln.

I met Julie in 1980 when I started dating Steve.  Julie was in high school at the time and was friendly to me right from the start.  Julie cooked many of the meals I enjoyed when I visited Steve on the weekends. I only recently learned that Julie loved cooking with her ingredients measured out in many different bowls like the chef Julia Child used.  In those days cooking shows were rare and only found on PBS!  Julie continued to amaze me as she entered college and persevered through the required courses it took for her to become an Occupational Therapist.

During Julie's college years she was also a doting aunt to our children.  Julie loved to play games and eventually would host one of the kids at a time for weekend sleepovers.  Julie also met a young man and fell in love.  Julie and Kelly were married and started their life together in Lincoln.   We were aware of the desire Julie and Kelly had to start their own family.  They were both so very good to their nieces and nephews and it seemed they would be the perfect parents.  Several years passed with our own children saying daily prayers for Julie and Kelly to have a baby.  The love Julie and Kelly showed one another and extended family continued as they placed their trust in God.

Prayers were answered when a family chose Julie and Kelly to be the adoptive parents of a little girl to be named Tabitha.  Our entire family was elated when this beautiful little girl became part of the extended Ruskamp family.  More prayers were answered as Julie gave birth to a son, Simon, daughter, Maria and son, Elijah.  Each new baby brought more love, joy and laughter into their home and into all of our hearts.  A new trial for the family came when little Elijah needed heart surgery.  Prayers, trust and love were very evident as Julie put her baby in the hands of the doctors and nurses.

This is a photo of Elijah enjoying a roast beef sandwich at our house last fall. 

Elijah came through the surgery very well and all four children continue to grow and thrive.  We've had the oldest two, Tabitha and Simon, at the farm for "Camp Ruskamp".  Tabitha has been a great assistant for some of our farm tours including a television interview.

One of the activities at "Camp Ruskamp" is fishing.  This photo is from
a few years ago. Tabitha is proudly holding up her fish while Simon
and our son, Jeff, look on. The fish can be fried in an area just behind them.

I know that new challenges will continue to face the Heftie family because that is how life is.  Julie has shown me in so many ways that she embraces her womanhood and her faith.  She is truly a woman after God's heart and she brings that into her home and into her workplace.

Maria Heftie was baptised in 2009.  Every family needs a Maria!  This photo
captures more than words can say about faith and family.  

Here is a recipe she has shared with me that her family loves.  I have proof of that because the recipe has "Yummy!" and a star by it!

Barbecue Meatballs
Meatballs:
3 lbs. ground beef                                    1/2 cup onion-chopped
1 (12 oz) can evaporated milk                 1/2 t garlic powder
1 cup oatmeal                                           2 t salt
1 cup cracker crumbs                               1/2 t pepper
2 eggs-beaten                                            2 t chili powder

Combine all meatball ingredients (mixture will be soft) and shape into walnut size balls.  Place meatballs in a single layer on a wax paper cookie sheet.  Freeze until solid.  Store until ready to use or can be used right after you make them.

Sauce:
2 cups ketchup                                           1/2 t garlic powder
1 cup brown sugar                                     1/4 t onion chopped
1/2 t liquid smoke or to taste

Combine sauce ingredients and stir until sugar is dissolved.   Place meatballs in 9x13x2 baking pan and pour sauce over top.  Bake at 350 degrees for 1 hour.  May take longer to bake if using frozen meatballs.   Julie notes that she doubled this recipe for a church event and it made 191 meatballs.

"She is clothed in strength and dignity, she can laugh at the day to come. When she opens her mouth, she does so wisely; on her tongue is kindly instruction.  She keeps good watch on the conduct of her household, no bread of idleness for her.  Her children stand up and proclaim her blessed, her husband, too, sings her praises:  'Many women have done admirable things, but you surpass them all!'  Charm is deceitful, and beauty empty; the woman who fears Yahweh is the one to praise." Proverbs 31:25-30

National Hamburger Day

National Hamburger Day falls right in the middle of the perfect holiday weekend for grilling.  Matthew McConaughey says "Man who invented the hamburger was smart; Man who invented the cheeseburger was a genius”  and I have to wholeheartedly agree!

My niece, Tabitha, has been a great assistant for me in a variety of ways
to support beef through farm tours and television interviews.

If you have plans to grill this Memorial Day Weekend I would like to encourage you to find the beef counter at your grocery store for a variety of items that will please your family and friends!  When it comes to burgers beef has the "fake" burgers beat nutritionally besides taste.

Sometimes people substitute ground turkey for beef thinking it is a better
option but this chart shows you that beef is the healthier choice!

Hamburgers are a great choice for large groups with children.  I have a recipe suggestion that offers  topping choices called "Slider Sundaes".  This recipe gives everyone an opportunity to build their own burger and by using slider sized burgers you can have two burgers with different toppings and stay right at that 30 grams of protein.   Here is the recipe:  

Sliders:

1 pound lean hamburger or ground round (makes 8 sliders)

1 tsp Lawry’s Garlic Salt

1 Package Slider Buns

 

Mix hamburger in ¼ cup sizes.  Flatten to ½” thick. 

Grill at medium high heat for 3 minutes on each side.   

Grilling baskets work great to easily grill several at a time.

Sundae Toppings:

Cherry Tomatoes (a tooth pick in one end allows tomato to sit on top of the bun)

Fried Onions

Sautéed sliced mushrooms

Lettuce

Fried bacon strips cut in thirds

Pickles

Shredded cheddar cheese

Blue Cheese Butter*

Hamburger Sauce*

Peanut Butter-smooth

Blue Cheese Butter:  Mix one stick softened butter, ¼ cup blue cheese crumbles and 1 tsp Worcestershire sauce

Hamburger Sauce: ¼ cup mayonnaise, 2 tsp ketchup, 1 tsp mustard, 1 tsp pickle juice, ¼ tsp onion powder, ¼ tsp garlic powder-mix well

Slider Sundaes make mealtime fun by letting every dress up their own burger according to individual tastes.  This is a great way to cut food waste by using smaller portion sizes.  Each slider is about 15 grams of protein before the toppings.  Suggested combos include:  Beef, Bacon, blue cheese butter and peanut butter; Beef, Bacon, Cheese, Onions, Pickles and Hamburger Sauce; Beef, lettuce, mushrooms, bacon and Hamburger Sauce.  Make sure to top each bun with a cherry tomato!

You can also have Hawaiian or Mexican themes for your Slider Sundaes by adding other ingredients like sliced pineapple and brown sugar for one and black olives, salsa, sour cream, taco seasoning in the ground beef for the other.  There is no limit to the creativity you can have with beef!  

In Nebraska we will have a beautiful weekend for grilling.  Even though we experience all four seasons, sometimes in one day, my husband can be found grilling all year 'round.  If you need more information about grilling the perfect burger you can read this terrific blog post from a friend of mine here.  We like to use Lawry's Garlic Salt for seasoning or Mike's Seasoning (found at Graybeal's Grocery Store in West Point). 

Enjoy this Memorial Day Weekend by grilling up some beef burgers today and make time to remember those that have died, especially our veterans.  

This is a picture of Steve's dad, Francis and my dad, Clem,
who both served in the military and have both left this earthly
life.  Our hearts still grieve the loss of their love and laughter
but our faith fills us with hope and joy of seeing them again.

“The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, 

and saves such as have a contrite spirit.”

Psalm 34:18 

The Lord is ready to listen and help those who are brokenhearted 

and He saves those who are broken in spirit. 

It is a special hope to all who have lost a loved one.

Where's My Beef?

I enjoy having family gatherings and our home works well to host gatherings.  We made plans to gather my mom from Grand Island, our newly married daughter, Kim and her husband, Richard, from Lincoln, my sister and two of her children from Gretna and Steve's mom from Snyder over for a steak dinner to celebrate Mother's Day.  I would like to share with you one of the salads we enjoyed eating that day as part of my "May is Beef Month" series of family beef recipes.

My sister, Sharon, has a great Taco Salad recipe and had volunteered to bring this dish to our Mother's Day celebrations, as we were in the middle of planting corn.  However, Sharon was delayed in arriving to our celebration because of some missing beef. 

This thank you was sent to us from Sharon's daughter,
Nichole, several years ago after she spent some time
with us on our farm.

Sharon is my younger sister and has five children.  We have many stories between us that bring us laughter and tears as many sisters often do.  I admire Sharon in the way she has encouraged her children to keep after their dreams.  Sharon has never been one to accept defeat as she modeled the virtue of tenacity in making sure her kids had what they needed.  Sharon is a single parent and is witnessing the fruits of her labor as the children graduate, go to college, get jobs, etc...  All good parents struggle to provide the best care they can for their children and that includes meals that nourish and are easy to make.

Sharon and her five children left to right:  Oliver, Megan, Sharon, Anna,
Nichole and Michael.

We came up with the idea of meeting at our house for Mother's Day because it seemed the easiest way to be together.  I knew my time would be limited for house cleaning and food preparation.  I was tied up in various farm tasks and asked for help with the food preparation.   Sharon offered to bring a taco salad and a fruit salad.  Sharon lives close to Omaha and has access to a grocery store 24/7.  Sunday morning she shopped for her ingredients and went home to get the salad ready.  When she looked for the ground beef there was none to be found.  "Where's my beef?" she asked her children and then realized it must have been left at the grocery store.  A quick call and return visit to the grocery store enabled one of the kids to bring her the ground beef so she could finish her recipe.

I hope you enjoy this salad as much as we did!

Taco Salad
by Sharon McCoy

1 lb hamburger 

1 taco seasoning

Cook hamburger, mix in seasoning. Remove from.pan, set aside to cool.

1-2 heads of lettuce, chopped or 1 large bag of lettuce mix

       (I'm all about making it easy so I just buy the mixed lettuce)

2 avocados, chopped

1 large tomato, chopped 

1 can of medium pitted black olives, sliced

2 cups of cheddar cheese

Mix together 

1 large bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos  (some for salad and some to snack on)

Dorothy Lynch dressing 

Ranch dressing

Salsa

Mix meat with salad. Add dressing  (I do a couple swirls of each) and about 1/2 cup of salsa. Toss together.  When ready to serve, crunch a few handfuls of chips, sprinkle on top and mix in.

It's important for me who is at the table with me; the moment when everyone speaks to each other and everyone listens. If there's good food, it's much better. Andrea Bocelli
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/good_food.html

"It's important for me who is at the table with me; the moment when everyone speaks to each other and everyone listens.  If there's good food it's much better."  Andrea Bocelli

It's important for me who is at the table with me; the moment when everyone speaks to each other and everyone listens. If there's good food, it's much better. Andrea Bocelli
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/good_food.html

It's important for me who is at the table with me; the moment when everyone speaks to each other and everyone listens. If there's good food, it's much better. Andrea Bocelli
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/good_food.html

Me, mom and Sharon on Mother's Day 2017.

Beef and Broccoli

When our family gets together you can be certain beef is on the menu.  Beef was nearly a food group of its’ own when our kids were growing up since it was such a big part of their diet.  Raising healthy kids was important to my husband and I so it pleases me to know how many nutrients they were getting with each savory bite.  Getting kids to eat beef was easy while getting them to eat a variety of vegetables was a bit more challenging.  Steve's "Broccoli and Beef" recipe in his hand-hammered wok was one of our family favorites. 

Our grandson reaches for a piece of steak as his bowl with broccoli sits nearby. 

When our children were starting to eat solid food one of the first things they were exposed to were very small pieces of hamburger.  Their tiny little fingers wanted to master the art of bringing food to the mouth. We found hamburger to be an easy, healthy item for them to try.  Steve would often refer to their hands as little grapple forks trying to grasp at food and bring it up to a wide-open mouth.  We knew the beef was giving them ZIP-zinc, iron and protein-but we didn't realize those little pieces of beef were putting important nutrients into their bodies like B12, Selenium, B6 and Phosphorus.  

It's important to me to have research showing the benefits of beef in the diet.  Many studies since the 1970's have encouraged a diet lower in red meat.  When I was taking aerobic dance classes in the 1980's I heard fitness experts promoting diets low in red meat.  Moving on into the 1990's I saw firsthand the health benefits of a diet including red meat.  Our children were rarely sick, they did very well in school and we all maintained very busy schedules.   As a beef producer I am very proud of the research our own checkoff dollars have done to show how beef can be part of a healthy diet.  If you would like to see for yourself the benefits of beef in your diet you can take the 30 day protein challenge found here.

How many reasons do you need to make sure beef is part of your healthy diet?  Beef is good for your muscles, your immune system, your nervous system, your bones and teeth, your blood, and your brains.  Not only does beef fuel your brain with vitamins B6 and B12 there is also an article that talks about the importance of meat and human development.   The article "Food For Thought: Meat-Based Diet Made Us Smarter" states "As we began to shy away from eating primarily fruit, leaves and nuts and began eating meat, our brains grew."  Anthropologist Leslie Aiello states  "Sorry, vegetarians, but eating meat apparently made our ancestors smarter — smart enough to make better tools, which in turn led to other changes".

If you are counting calories and protein this chart
can help you see how beef compares to other sources.

Steve and I are part of a community of beef producers that are committed to producing high quality beef for you and your family.  We join families around the world that seek ways to raise healthy and successful children.  It is very important to note that it only takes 3 ounces to get 25 grams of protein.  That size is about the size of a deck of cards!

As you seek ways to help your family thrive I encourage you to include beef with plenty of vegetables.  Beef and broccoli are just one of many combinations we enjoy and you can find more ideas on the "Beef It's Whats For Dinner" website. 

Be smart.  Eat beef!

This granddaughter digs in for the better part-the beef!

Made For More

Today is International  Women’s Day.  According to some internet searching this annual celebration on March 8^th goes back to 1908 and the struggle for women to get shorter work hours, better pay and the right to vote.   I am grateful that I have the right to vote.   I do believe women were made for more than protests encouraging women not to show up for work on March 8^th to highlight the IWD movement.  I believe women were made for more by the character developed versus the job they do.   I would like to take this day to highlight a few women that have shown me in a variety of ways what it means to be a woman that is made for more.

Barbara Dukat Wieczorek

Barbara was born in 1938 as a twin and the youngest of five.  Barbara would grow up a city girl with summers spent on a ranch in Valentine.  She met a tall, handsome man, that she would marry and raise six children with.  Barb, as she was known by friends and family, moved with her husband to Washington State while he finished his military service.  She became pregnant with her first child and about half way through the pregnancy received word that her mother had died suddenly.  The couple borrowed money to get back to Nebraska for the funeral.  It would only be several years later when her father would die suddenly, too.  Barb would continue to experience more grief as she lost each sibling one by one and then most recently her husband.  I am amazed at the amount of sorrow she has endured and recently learned her birthday is also the feast day of Our Lady of Sorrows.  Aside from the difficult times Barb also encouraged her children to get involved in Brownies, Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts and 4-H.  Barb taught religious education and sold toys for Brandeis to the delight of her children who liked to see what other kids were getting for Christmas.   Birthdays were special days in the family and each child was blessed with a decorated cake decorated by Barb.  Barb was also known for her fried chicken and sewing skills.  One Christmas she made her daughters numerous Barbie outfits during the night hours so the girls would not see what she was making.  Barb nourished her family first with the gift of life and second in countless ways of showing how much she cared for each one of them.  Barb is known for making sure you are fed well when visiting!  Barb is my mom and I am so very grateful that she chose life for me and my five younger siblings as well as modeling her virtue of generosity.

Mom holding my brother, Dave, as I
sit on the floor in front of her-1961

Kathleen Dukat

Kathleen, also known as Aunt Kathy, was a very dear aunt to numerous nieces and nephews.  Aunt Kathy loved to bring gifts, bake lots of food and spend time with extended family.  Aunt Kathy and her long time boyfriend, Gene, took me to see Mary Poppins in the theater when I was about six years old.  Aunt Kathy hosted numerous family gatherings including a Christmas party where I remember many of the girls receiving a Mary Poppins doll and each child received a special bank that had a $1.00 bill in it!  Aunt Kathy was the first person to hear about my encounter with Steve at a wedding dance in Snyder.   Aunt Kathy nourished family and friends with her laughter, her love and her ability to make you feel welcome.  I am very grateful to have had an aunt as precious as my Aunt Kathy.

Aunt Kathy is surrounded by my siblings and I-late 1960's.

Juanita Nozicka

Juanita, also known as Aunt Juanita, remains a very dear aunt and friend of mine.  Juanita was married to my dad’s youngest brother, Melvin.  Juanita has a voice that oozes kindness and love.  When I was going through some rebellious teenage years Juanita was there to give me her comforting smile and a place to be loved.  When my uncle was diagnosed with cancer our families went through a difficult time. Juanita has continued to be a close friend for my mom and our family with her soft, warm, kind and loving voice.  I am very grateful to have Aunt Juanita as an example of accepting each person as they are with great love.

Juanita and her husband, Paul, sharing an Easter with us.

Bernardine Ruskamp

Bernardine, also known as mom to my husband, is the oldest of eight children and the mother of ten children.  I met Bernardine on my first visit to see Steve when I followed up on his invitation to come out to the farm to ride his amazing horse.  I found Bernardine to incredibly gifted at sewing, baking, gardening and listening.   Bernardine has always been very good at paying attention to details which makes one very good at making quilts, baking bread, canning tomatoes and building life-long friendships.  Bernardine also loved reading to our children when they were young and making them special pajamas and pillow cases to match their interests.  Bernardine has been an incredible mentor of loving each and every life God gives you.  Bernardine has nourished family and friends with her numerous apple pies and loaves of homemade bread as well as countless baby quilts made for Project Linus.  I have been blessed to have a mother-in-law I can look up to and admire.

Bernardine and Francis at Emily's wedding in 2014.

My Sisters

Linda, Sharon and Sandy are my sisters.   I  have fond memories of playing Barbies, building snow tunnels and going roller skating when we were kids.   As we grew we each found our own gifts and talents, married, faced different struggles and three of us had children.   What I admire about my three sisters is the grit they have maintained through a variety of times of suffering.   Each one of them has nourished me through their witness of the virtues of courage, forgiveness, generosity and kindness.   I am very grateful for my sisters, Linda, Sharon and Sandy and the many ways they continue to bless me with their friendship.

My sisters-Sandy, Sharon, Linda and me in the early 2000's.

My Daughters

Steve and I have five children that include three girls.  Ginger, Emily and Kim are each five years apart and spent their childhoods playing in trees near the house, climbing hay bales in the barn and taking care of 4-H animals.   Each of the girls found a love for raising rabbits after Ginger brought home her first Dutch rabbit.  I could write endless stories from the memories I fondly treasure of each of them as a little girl.  What I find myself thinking about more these days is how incredible each of them are as adults.  Ginger and Emily are both amazing mother’s.  All three of the girls are dedicated to jobs that involve teaching.  My three daughter’s nourish me with kind words written in special cards, phone calls at random times just to talk and the virtues of love and generosity they give to family and friends.  I have been extremely blessed to have three daughters that love me, encourage me and support me in my own new adventures.

Kim, Ginger, Emily, me and Ella at Emily's wedding.

My Friends

I have been blessed to have so many incredible people in my life to call friends.  There are my childhood friends, cousins that became friends, high school and college friends, friends I met when I moved from one town to another eventually settling in Dodge and friends I continue to make through volunteer opportunities.   I have recently been blessed with an overwhelming amount of love from many friends since the passing of my father.   I do have one friend I would like to mention because she was also a mentor that taught me a lot about being a woman.   Her name is Joyce Kreiekemeier.   I met Joyce through church activities.   Over several years of time I watched and learned from Joyce about servant leadership, poise, commitment, dedication and love.   Joyce treated me like an equal even though she had many years of experience and knowledge beyond mine.  Joyce also encouraged by example, taught through teamwork and lived joyfully from a faith was from deep within her heart.  As I spent time with Joyce I learned to treasure traits like modesty, integrity, perseverance, respect, acceptance and forgiveness.   I am so grateful to have had Joyce as a mentor and friend early in my life as a mother to learn the importance of continually growing in faith.

These are some of my friends I have made since becoming a
volunteer for CommonGround.

As you can see I have been blessed with many women in my life that have nurtured me, encouraged me and loved me.  These women have taught me that I was made for more than the job I hold.  Who are the women in your life that have blessed you with their friendship and ability to help you become a better person?   I believe women were made for the ability to bring life into the world not only through the birthing process but also in the way we can nurture others through our words, our actions and our love.  Protest if you must but remember there are those of us who chose instead to give life today by feeding the hungry, giving words of encouragement to our neighbor, treating a patient, caring for our animals, building a home, putting out a fire, hugging a child, nursing a baby, flying a plane and most of all teaching the young our commitment to their well-being.

I was made for more! I am more than a farmer, wife, mom,
sister, daughter, grandmother, friend...I am a child of God!

From the Heart: A Valentine's Day Tribute In Memory of My Dad

This is a very special Valentine's Day tribute for my dad, a man that lived a simple, quiet life with great love in his heart for God and family.  For nearly eighty three years my dad developed the ability to love deeply and care intently for his family, friends and God.  Dad endured many trials during his life with his final trial enabling what was perhaps the greatest outpouring of love a family could receive.  On this Valentine's Day I would like to share how my dad's strong heart was able to facilitate an outpouring of love in my family.

My mom and dad in their kitchen just over a year ago.

My dad was in skilled care for his Alzheimer's.  I wrote a post about the disease and the impact it had on our family that you can read about here.  Mom made regular visits to see dad and my siblings and I made visits as often as we could.   My last visit to dad found him somewhat hunched over in his wheelchair and sleepy.   Mom and I started talking to him and wheeling him over to a table.  A meal was about to be served so we continued to talk about this great meal including a hamburger was going to taste.  I was able to give dad a small bite of his hamburger that he chewed very slowly.   At one point he dropped his head down.  I bent down real low to make eye contact with him and as he saw me he followed me back up with a little smile on his face.  That smile warmed my heart and was the last time I would receive that gift of love from my dad.

The majority of our family made a visit to see dad over the Christmas holiday.
In this photo are two of my sisters, a niece and our daughter, Ginger's, family.

The group text message came at 9:30 p.m. on Tuesday, January 31st.  "Dad is not doing very well, he's unresponsive and they're taking him to the ER in Grand Island".  I was my hotel room in Nashville going over my schedule of meetings for the Cattleman's Beef Board.  First there was shock.  My siblings and I were also at least two hours or two flights away.  My sister-in-law stepped right in and assisted my mom as they met the rescue squad at the hospital.  Text messages continued to fly as the six of us tried to learn more details.  I sent a message to the CBB officer team with my news and immediate reply of heart-felt support to do what I needed to do.

I did manage to get a photo with these three lovely ladies
that serve with me on the CBB.  We had just finished supper
after a day of interviews and/or flying in to Nashville.

One by one my siblings and other relatives started to journey towards Grand Island to be with my dad and mom.  My sister, Sharon, arrived first to feed us the latest updates on dad's status.  One by one each of us arrived to be with one another and my parents.  We took shifts staying the night in the hospital and continued to send social media requests out for prayers.  The staff at St. Francis provided a cart of coffee, water and snacks to take care of us as well as my dad.   On Thursday morning dad's teary eyed doctor gave us news that involved the decision to place dad in hospice care.  A prayer was answered when we learned there was an opening at the VA Hospital in Grand Island.  We were told it would be a short stay.

The VA Hospital in Grand Island was not unfamiliar to my family.  My mom, siblings and I had many numerous trips to the hospital with dad to visit a variety of doctors over many years.  We walked the familiar path past the accordion player in the lobby, the check-in desk, the pharmacy and then to the elevators.  Our new destination was the third floor, unfamiliar to us at the time but soon to become our second home.

Upon arrival at the VA our new doctor concurred with doctors at St. Francis that my dad was very sick and had anywhere from 6-18 hours to live, through Sunday if we were lucky.  We sent the word out to extended family members, grandchildren, friends and the parish priest.  I was even blessed with the opportunity to talk to Bishop Hanefeldt over the phone to receive his love and prayers. The outpouring of love and prayers also continued through family and friends via social media updates.

My mom is wrapped up in blankets in the chair used
also as a bed when needed.  The nurses were great
at getting us warm blankets to snuggle up in.

What I would like to share next are the many experiences that unfolded during dad's hospice stay.  My mom, siblings and I pretty much moved in to dad's room.  The staff introduced themselves and gave us another room with a fold out bed in it.  We continued praying rosaries, the Chaplet of Divine Mercy, singing praise songs and old familiar songs, crying and laughing over stories from our childhood.  Grandchildren came with their own love and support for their grandparents and each other.  Our granddaughter, Ella, drew a picture for her great-grandpa that has been saved by her great-grandma.  We brought in food, more food and still more food as my dad's steady and strong heartbeat continued to take him through the weekend and through one weekday after another.  The excellent nurse care made sure dad was comfortable to the point of having him on an air controlled mattress that we named "the cloud".   Dad's two sisters were able to spend hours with us sharing stories from their childhood.  My siblings, mom and I continued our round-the-clock presence with dad with several near death episodes that were draining everyone emotionally.  We continued prayers, the Novena to Our Lady of Lourdes, songs, stories and more meals together with the bonds of love growing between us with each passing day.

My Aunt Stella had this picture in her purse and shared
with us the story about my dad (sitting) and his friend
 converting my grandma's lawn mower into a go cart.

Some of our significant moments included my dad opening his eyes long enough for my sister, Sandy, to get that one last look into what she called his baby blues.  One morning my dad gave us a few second of a lift of his head with eyes open and a big smile.  That would be the last physical response I would see.   One of the nurses came into the room at the close of her shift and saluted dad from the foot of his bed.  That was a very powerful moment.  Dad defied all predictions of time with that very strong heart of his until on Thursday, February 9th he took his final breath.

We had a beautiful slide show for the services showing dad in a variety of
situations including camera man.  The painting by my niece, Megan McCoy,
was the response to our request for the painting to honor the many times we
sang "You Are My Sunshine" to my dad with our own memory verses.

Several of the grandchildren pooled their creative
minds together to create this memory tree using some
of dad's tools, ink hand prints and memory leaves.

 

Though many tears continue to fall we have so much to rejoice in from the love, support and prayers we have received.  The rosary and funeral brought the majority of the family home to share final thoughts, prayers, reflections, art from several grandchildren and an ice cream salute.  My dad's funeral was on the Feast of Our Lady of Lourdes, a very special day for my parents as they had made a pilgrimage to the shrine in France many years ago.  My dad left us with an experience of such profound love and the mystery of faith that no amount chocolate or flowers on this Valentine's Day could ever match.

Here is the poem written by our daughter, Ginger Eikmeier, that she read for the rosary and funeral mass communion reflection:

Grandpa, you didn’t remember me.
Alzheimer’s had a firm grip on your mind,
crowding out most of those you knew and loved.
But it’s okay, Grandpa, because I still remember you.

I remember your shop out back,
shiny silver tools filling the drawers,
the smell of grease permeating the air
as we made our way back to the workbench to greet you.
I remember your trips to Ace Hardware,
usually resulting in a special present
for the lucky grandchild who got to go along,
like my prized white Barbie Ferarri.
I remember your fifty-cent-piece collection
and how excited we were to come across one of those coins
because you’d trade us three quarters for that one piece.
I remember your clunky rectangular video camera
perched on your shoulder as you chased us grandkids around,
never staying a silent cameraman
but always adding your own colorful commentary.
I remember your chair at the end of the table,
the bottom spring stretched past its limit
from years of leaning back during kitchen conversations.
I remember your metal canes,
whose primary purpose was to help your hips
move like they couldn’t move any more
but whose secondary purpose was a comedy prop,
ready to draw the attention of a great-grandchild.
I remember your conversation with me just over a year ago
when, in a moment of clarity, you asked if I still liked teaching,
and as you watched me play with my six-month-old,
you said you didn’t understand how anyone could ever hurt a baby.
I remember your black beaded rosary
used in prayer on so many occasions,
a symbol of the deep faith you developed.
I remember your quiet chuckle,
sometimes in response to a funny story,
more often in response to some private joke.
I remember your generosity, your playfulness,
your love for God and Grandma,
for your kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids.
Your own memories may have been taken away,
but these are the things I will remember,
long after God has called you home.

Signs of God's presence are all around us if we look.  This sunrise on the Monday morning following dad's funeral gave
me more than the beauty of color, it gave me the beauty of a gold cross to remind me of the beauty of the resurrection.

You can read more about my dad here.